Max Flowe: The Hydrotechnical Tragedy

It is with a heavy heart that we (NEARCreek Industries Ltd) announce the untimely passing of Max Flowe, renowned professional engineer, and self-proclaimed "water wizard." Max, who dedicated his life to the advancement of hydrotechnical systems, tragically lost his life in a most improbable accident involving a *floating dam* (an idea that, in hindsight, probably shouldn’t have been taken seriously).

Max was last seen attempting to design a self-levitating, autonomous floodgate system meant to prevent overflows in residential basements. In a stunning display of engineering audacity, he successfully installed the system in his own home, testing it with a bathtub's worth of water to verify the *hydraulic equilibrium* (Max’s term for “pushing it too far”).

The result was a chaotic cascade of water—much more water than a bathtub could possibly hold—flooding his living room with torrents of **hydraulic chaos**. In the final moments of his life, Max was quoted as saying: "Well, at least the coffee table stayed dry." He was later found among the debris, a small rubber duck in hand, quietly mumbling, “I should’ve used a pump.”

In his final act, Max proved that even the most well-intentioned hydrotechnical professionals can drown in their own designs.

The Legacy of Max

Max leaves behind a legacy of unorthodox blueprints, questionable prototypes, and at least four waterproof notebooks that, ironically, failed to float. His work will forever be remembered for its sheer creativity, despite the occasional (and, admittedly, frequent) moments of hydraulic overreach.

Max was also a devoted mentor, teaching younger engineers the fine art of turning every problem into an excuse for a complex solution. His favorite advice: "If it doesn’t work, try adding more valves." He will forever be remembered by 3rd year civil engineering students for the countless hours of lab work he imposed upon them. Fear not, UBC CIVL315/316 students, your efforts in the rusty hut were not in vain.